Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Monday, February 19, 2007

MARS ATTACKS L.A. (REALLY!)

MARS BY WAY OF TOKYO!


THE 1942 UFO BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES



Here are two stories about the WW II UFO that set L.A. into an 'Orson Wells'

frenzy...with good reason. For an excellent analysis, see

http://www.rense.com/general27/battle.htm. For the Wiki whacky view see

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_coast_air_raid. Wikipedia isn't quite the

'open-source' cyclopedia they'd like to see themselves as. Henry_Allen

According to reports in the Los Angeles Times, on Wednesday, February 25, 1942,

an unidentified craft hovered over the city of Los Angeles. This event, dubbed

the “Battle of Los Angeles,” was witnessed by hundreds of thousands of residents

of the area. Spotlights, intent on spotting Japanese aircraft, played over the

motionless craft. The military lobbed almost 2,000 rounds of high explosive

shells at the floating sphere. Unscathed, the hovering UFO leisurely moved off

to the south and disappeared over the ocean south of Long Beach. Six civilians

were killed, others injured -- the results of shells fragments.

(Not reported to the public was the recovery of two aircraft -- one off the

coast of California, the other in the San Bernardino Mountains -- which

according to secret intelligence sources were in all probability of

interplanetary origin. These findings were sent to President Roosevelt by

General George C. Marshall who subsequently ordered a "thorough investigation of

all War Department files regarding unconventional aerial phenomenon reprted

since 1897..." Courtesy Ryan S. Wood, MAJIC EYES ONLY)



The following day, the Los Angeles Times reported the incident on page one:

Below is an inside page from the Los Angeles Times, February 26, 1942.

No national media carried this story. For details go to:

http://www.rense.com/ufo/battleofLA.htm & MAJIC EYES ONLY by Ryan S. Wood

1942-Battle of Los Angeles
From Billy Booth -

Summary: It is very rare that among the annals of Ufology there should appear a

UFO case which involved military, yet is accompanied with actual photographic

proof. Such is the case of an event which took place over the Los Angeles area

on February 25, 1942. A giant UFO would actually hover over the city, and be

witnessed by hundreds of observers.

Pearl Harbor Scare: As America was gathering its senses after the shocking

attack on Pearl Harbor in December, 1941, there was a heightened feeling of

insecurity and anxiousness. The skies were being watched as never before as a

giant UFO moved through California, alerting the military and civilian watchers

as well. This case is known as the "Battle of Los Angeles," and is one of the

most important cases in Ufology.

Surreal Sight: It would be early morning on February 2, 1942 when the incoming

craft sirens were first heard in the Los Angeles area. Many Americans were

expecting another wave of Japanese fighter planes, and thought this is what they

would see as they left their homes, and ventured outside. How wrong they were!

The first sightings of a large UFO would be made in Culver City, and Santa

Monica.

A Total Blackout: Air Raid Wardens were ready to go at the first hint of an

invasion. But, this invasion would be something other than Japanese planes. The

giant hovering object was soon lit up by the gigantic spotlights of the Army's

37th Coast Artillery Brigade. Everyone who looked up was shocked by the sight of

the giant UFO sitting above their city. Military aircraft were sent to confront

the object.

UFO Takes Direct Hits: Because of a well-organized alert system, the whole

California southern section was searching the night skies in a matter of

minutes. What they saw were beaming searchlights illuminating the night sky, all

of them converging on one thing-a UFO. A similar scene would be repeated later

during the The Norwood Searchlight Incident albeit, on a smaller scale. The

beams of light would soon be accompanied by tracer fire from anti-aircraft

artillery, all of the rounds aiming at the invading craft. The giant UFO would

take direct hit after hit, yet without damage.

Hanging Magic Lantern: The 37th Brigade was relentless in its attempt to bring

down the large object, but found no success. The barrage of spent shells would

fall over the entire area-no place was safe this night. Many were injured, and

there were even reports of death from the falling shells. According to newspaper

reports, eyewitnesses described the sight of the UFO like a "surreal, hanging,

magic lantern."

Classic Photograph Taken: As the large UFO moved into more lighted areas, view

of the object became better. It moved directly over the MGM studios in Culver

City. Fortunately, an extremely good quality photograph was taken of the object

-beams attached, tracer fire visible. This photograph has become a classic UFO

photograph. The UFO would soon move over Long Beach before disappearing

altogether.

Woman Air Raid Warden Gives Testimony: Woman Air Raid Warden Gives Testimony:

"It was huge! It was just enormous! And it was practically right over my house.

I had never seen anything like it in my life!" she said.

"It was just hovering there in the sky and hardly moving at all. It was a lovely

pale orange and about the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. I could see it

perfectly because it was very close. It was big!"

More Eyewitness Testimony: "They sent fighter planes up and I watched them in

groups approach it and then turn away. There were shooting at it but it didn't

seem to matter."

"It was like the Fourth of July but much louder. They were firing like crazy but

they couldn't touch it."

"I'll never forget what a magnificent sight it was. Just marvelous. And what a

gorgeous color!" she said

The Guns Fall Silent: The giant invading airship was now gone, and the citizenry

of the southern California area began to resume normal activities. This was an

extremely important event-one that will not be forgotten.

Only the news of the war kept this from becoming a major news event. This case

must have been in the mind of President Ronald Reagan when he warned us of an

"alien threat, from outside of our world."

Are we ready?

Sunday, January 21, 2007

OUR HAPPY CLIENTS




Thanks to our friend, author Brad Steiger-

ROSA BROOKS
Those ingrate Iraqis

President Bush is right: Americans deserve gratitude for cutting Iraqis' energy

consumption and tackling their overpopulation problem.

Rosa Brooks

January 19, 2007

'HOW SHARPER than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!" complained

Shakespeare's King Lear. But Lear didn't know from ingratitude. Think it stings

to have a thankless child? Just try the sting of a thankless occupied nation!

President Bush on Sunday shared his lamentations on "60 Minutes," the modern

equivalent of the storm-swept heath. Assuming the time-honored role of Fool,

CBS' Scott Pelley asked the president, "Do you think you owe the Iraqi people an

apology for not doing a better job?"

Bush retorted: "That we didn't do a better job, or they didn't do a better job?….

We liberated that country from a tyrant. I think the Iraqi people owe the

American people a huge debt of gratitude…. We've endured great sacrifice to help

them…. [Americans] wonder whether or not there is a gratitude level that's

significant enough in Iraq."

Well, yes. I have wondered about that. Frankly — I'm talking to you, Iraqis! — a

few flowers and ticker-tape parades wouldn't be amiss, even at this late stage.

Remember, we got rid of Saddam Hussein for you — with a little help from his

executioners, to be sure, who sent him to his death amid enthusiastic chants in

praise of Shiite militia leader Muqtada Sadr. But that's just a detail.

Anyway, that's not all we've done for Iraq. We also introduced the Iraqis to

basic principles of energy conservation. Before the U.S. invasion, the feckless

residents of Baghdad used 16 to 24 hours of electricity each day. Today, thanks

to us, they thriftily make do with about six hours of electricity a day. Under

our tutelage, the Iraqis are also conserving fossil fuels: Oil production is

still well below prewar levels! And — recognizing that auto emissions are a

major contributor to global warming — a symbolically important number of Iraqis

has gone from driving their cars to detonating their cars. Now that's

dedication.

We've also helped the Iraqis address the problem of urban overcrowding. With

34,452 Iraqi civilians killed in 2006 alone, according to the United Nations,

and another 2 million opting to leave the country, the war has reduced the Iraqi

population by nearly 10%!

OK. But you're probably still wondering: What constitutes the "great sacrifice"

we Americans have made to give these gifts to the Iraqis? After all, despite

those U.S. troops who've lost lives and limbs in Iraq (3,024 dead and 47,657

wounded, so far), it's not like the rest of us are being drafted, right? Don't

be so modest. They also serve who only stand and watch TV!

When Jim Lehrer of PBS' "NewsHour" suggested to Bush that "the volunteer

military … and their families [are] the only people who are actually sacrificing

anything at this point," the president demurred. "A lot of people are in this

fight," he insisted. "I mean, they sacrifice peace of mind when they see the

terrible images of violence on TV every night." Too true! I've given up so much

of my peace of mind for this war — yet no Iraqi has ever so much as sent me a

thank you note.

In addition to that, I've heeded the president's call to fight terrorism through

my "continued participation and confidence in the American economy." When my

president calls on me to "go shopping more," I hop to it! I've walked the malls

until my boots were as worn as those of any Marine after a hard slog through the

Iraqi desert.

Anyway, when he spoke of the great sacrifices we Americans have made for Iraq,

the president didn't say the half of it. Modest soul that he is, he didn't even

mention the $200-billion annual price tag of the war in Iraq.

If we weren't spending $200 billion a year to help the Iraqi people, we could —

for instance — be funding universal healthcare (at an estimated $100 billion a

year, according to a New York Times analysis) and a universal preschool program

($35 billion a year). With the $65 billion we'd have left over after that, we

could create a comprehensive national service program for young Americans, or

more than triple the foreign aid we provide to developing countries.

That's not all. By focusing on Iraq to the near exclusion of all other issues,

we're also sacrificing our own national security interests. We're virtually

ignoring the resurgence of the Taliban in Afghanistan, Russia's slide toward

repression, expanding regional conflicts in Africa and — ahem — the ongoing

activities of Osama bin Laden.

So don't be shy, my fellow Americans: Give yourselves some credit for the

sacrifices you're making for Iraq. Just as a soldier hit by an IED may at first

be too stunned to feel pain, it will take time for you to truly feel the depth

of your sacrifice. Rest assured: Though it may not hurt now, it will soon.

L.A. Times